Nobody ever talks about all the good things Hitler did.

Am I drunk?

Am I drunk?

Have any of you seen the latest trend coming out of the Asia-Pacific region?  For once it doesn’t have anything to do with watching professional Starcraft 2 competitions – instead it’s about a new fashion movement known as Hitler Chic being adopted by the younger generations in places like Bangkok.

Ich bein ein panda!

Ich bein ein panda!

I wish I was making this up, but it’s becoming really widespread over there.  That article I just linked talks about how people in Thailand are going around wearing shirts depicting adorable little Adolf Hitlers dressed in things like panda suits.  This is both deeply, profoundly disturbing on a multitude of levels while simultaneously being the funniest shit I’ve ever fucking seen.

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Communism is just a red herring.

Or was it one plus two plus two plus one?

One plus two plus one plus one....

Do you have certain things that just set your teeth on edge whenever you encounter them?  Some people cringe when they someone says “for all intensive purposes.”  Others start twitching if they hear nails on a chalkboard, or can’t help but gag if the smell of tuna salad assaults their noses; there’s any number of things that make you want to immediately start ripping the doors of parked cars and throwing them at people like you’re some low-rent Captain America. Continue reading

Happy anniversary to me!

My biggest fan.

I can't find the "Any" key!

Today marks the beginning of my fifth week posting as the Amateur Professional.  In that time I’ve made 32 posts counting this one, and as of this posting, this blog has generated 970 views.

This leads me to pose the question to you people: who the hell set up their dipping bird on their keyboard?

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Updates for the Month of February

Hey, guys! A little note for anyone with the writing bug: Twit Publishing is accepting submissions for its next anthology! Check it out if you’re interested.

Twit Publishing

We’re currently looking for submissions for PULP! Summer/Fall 2012.

We’re also doing two weeks of “deals” on the PULP! books. We’re running down those 5 days of free books through Amazon before we go out of Select. We’ll see how it goes.

Also, we have “Blowing off Some Steam” for free. You can read it right here, if you really want:

And, I think that’s about it.


March 3rd and 4th, you can find Chris and I at Staple! in Austin, Texas. We had a blast last year, and hope to have an even better time this go ’round.

Hopefully, I’ll get to posting a little more frequently in the coming months. Our schedule is getting busier, but conversely mine will be getting less crowded. Yay! for that, right?

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If this movie sucks I’m moving to Barsoom.

It’s come to my attention that a whole shit-ton of people don’t know what the fuck is going on with this new John Carter movie coming out on March 9th.  Well, call me the bus driver, because I’m about to take you to school. Continue reading

… Anne Frankly I don’t find it very funny.

Today you are a man.

Mazel Tov!

Last night I caught the Colbert Report for the first time in a long time.  Thanks to my impeccable timing, I tuned in just in time to watch Stephen Colbert perform a proxy cicrumcision on dead members of the Church of Latter Day Saints by snipping the tip off an uncooked hot dog with a cigar cutter.  He then popped the tip into his mouth.  I can only hope that it was kosher. Continue reading