Early Modern Tarantino Theatre

Hello and welcome to the inaugural edition of Early Modern Tarantino Theatre, where we take classic quotes from Quentin Tarantino movies and make them even more classic!

In this episode, we’ve re-imagined the iconic scene near the beginning of Pulp Fiction, one of the most well-known of Tarantino’s films, using Early Modern English (better known as Elizabethan English to many).  Enjoy!

Jules: Good sir, thou hast my sincerest of apologies. Didst I disturb your humours? Pray continue, verily, thou wert discussing your intent. Ah, thou wert finished? Verily, allow me to retort. Who doth Marsellus Wallace resemble?

Brett: What?

Jules: Good sir, from what country doth thou originate?

Brett: What? What? Wh – ?

Jules: “What” ‘tis no land I am familiar with. Do the good folk of What speak the Queen’s English?

Brett: What?

Jules: English, thou defiler of married women, dost thou speak it?

Brett: Yes! Yes!

Jules: Then thou dost understand my speech!

Brett: Yes!

Jules: Pray then, good sir, describe to me who Marsellus Wallace doth resemble!

Brett: What?

Jules: Say ‘what’ again. Say ‘what’ again, I do entreat you, good sir. By God’s blood, say what yet one last time!

Brett: He is a moor…

Jules: Pray, continue.

Brett: His head is bare –

Jules: Doth he resembleth a whore?

Brett: What?

Jules (whilst striking the knave): DOTH HE RESEMBLETH A WHORE?

Brett: Truly not!

Jules: Then pray inform me as to why thou didst attempt to tup him like unto one?

That’s it for this first edition of Early Modern Tarantino Theatre!  Until next time, remember: the play’s the thing.  Also, be sure to give a warm welcome to Mister Persona Non Grata, who has joined the wide world of weblogs! The inestimable Mr. PNG is a pretty cool guy, by all accounts, and the fact that he’s married to an awesome tattooed woman gets Lisa Khoury’s panties in a twist as well.

Ms. Khoury, a word to the wise: Hate the player, not the game.

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6 thoughts on “Early Modern Tarantino Theatre

  1. Commedia Beauregard, a theatre company in Chicago is mounting a production entitled “Bard Fiction” that is pretty much this premise made into an entire play. It opens in March, and they did it at the fringe fest in MN I think. I auditioned, but alas, was cast not.

    • That sounds really interesting. Chicago’s a bit out of my range, so I’d doubt I’d ever get to see it in person, but I definitely want to look into that some more. Thanks for bringing it to my attention!

  2. Pingback: Science Fiction Tarantino Theatre! « Amateur Professional

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