Mi aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas.

Es el Mexicano Diablo!

A lot of people in America have some very strong views when it comes to the problems that plague this country.  One of the biggest hot-button issues is that of what the far left refer to as “the undocumented worker problem,” the moderates refer to as illegal immigration, and the far right call “those fucking Mexicans.”  The debate ranges most strongly in the southern border states of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California, and it’s a part of the national consciousness to the point where people have actually published computer games on the subject.

I was running some errands the other day and my interest was piqued when I came across a copy of this game in the bargain PC games aisle in a local store.  I picked it up and flipped it over to read the copy on the back, but when I did so, I saw something that made me laugh, hard: there was a sticker there, one of those clear, round plastic ones – the kind sometimes used to seal packages closed.  However, this one was smack dab right in the center of box, and it was completely plain except for four little words, printed in smudged blue text:

Disc printed in Mexico.”

I’m not particularly worried about Mexicans coming across the border and taking our jobs.  This is because most of the jobs illegal immigrants take – like picking crops and digging ditches – are the kinds of jobs I don’t want to do.  I’ll go and join the Tea Party the moment we start getting hordes of fluent English-speaking South and Central American nationals streaming over the border and start snapping up all the publishing contracts; until then, I’m very grateful that I don’t have to get up to stand outside the construction site at 6 AM to wait for el Jefé to come by and pick me for a day of shoveling dirt.

This isn’t to say that those kinds of jobs are beneath me; not by a long shot.  I grew up in a blue-collar household and would regularly help my father with his contracting business on the weekends and over the summer, which meant I’d come home covered in dirt and exhausted more often than I’d like.  Now, I enjoy working with my hands, but not for money – and I have a lot of respect for the carpenters, plumbers, and landscapers out there who do.

Now a lot of illegal immigrants do work as manual laborers.  In fact, my father’s long-time right hand man is from El Salvador, and while he did come to the US illegally, Dad worked with the guy to get him legal, with the results being that he’s now a naturalized American citizen.  So in a way I guess he took my job.  And for that I can genuinely say gracias!

I’m sure racism plays a large role in people not liking Latinos flooding the country illegally.  When you’re confronted with unfamiliar-looking people speaking a foreign language in your town practicing customs that appear bizarre to you, it can be disturbing.  Lucky for me growing up in an integrated neighborhood where I was chased around by kids that were every color of the rainbow, seeing people that look different than I do in the mirror doesn’t make me all that nervous.

This means that a lot of the arguments for curbing illegal immigration don’t really bother me all that much.  No, I don’t speak Spanish very well, but I’m not so paranoid as to think that every time I hear it someone’s talking about me, and I’ve already discussed my desire to not pick strawberries for 12 hours a day, so I’m really not all that concerned about people breaking a law that is clearly malum prohibitum and notmalum in se (did I mention I did two and a half years of law school before getting cancer?).

The one thing that does concern me is the massive clusterfuck drug war that’s been going on in Mexico for years and that’s been boiling over across the US border.  I really don’t give a shit if Jorge and Carmencita Pendejo come over the border because they’d rather not get shot by some 19 year old concha with a submachine gun and a kilo of coke stuffed down their pants.  What I do care about is a bunch of coked up assholes streaming into Arizona and selling their Colombian Dancing Dust to the trucker carrying my crate of dragon dildos cross-country.  UPS Ground takes long enough as it is, and a man’s got needs, damn it.

Yes, they’re a real thing.  No, I’m not linking it.  Google it yourself, you sick fucks.

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10 thoughts on “Mi aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas.

  1. My whole damn reply was devoured by the Lag monster… Well…

    All I can do dave is paraphrase my otherwise witty retort by quoting family guy:

    “I DIsagree!”

    and post Ron Pauls stance on the issue, which is pretty close to my own. But before I do, let me state that I have nothing against immigrants, or Immigration and attempt to include some of my more (less) witty sentiments.

    Why if it wasn’t for immigration my European Ancestors could never have Come to this land and Rape my other Ancestors The Poospatuk Indians and send them to Reservations (look up the Poospatuk Reservation to feel sadness in your happy places), Nor could they have managed to build several slave plantations in the Caribbean and the south (charming really).

    No… in all seriousness, Immigration is a great and important part of what makes our nation strong. Even Hitler said so.

    But in our quest to be tolerant and generous and kind. Lets not let people convince us that something that is wrong, is suddenly ok.

    America has some of the loosest laws on the planet as far as immigration go. Mexico will kill you if you try to do what our illegals do here.

    Our police allow illegals to break minor laws because they face a huge hassel if they try and arrest them (Not kidding here, I know a guy who brags about how he drives drunk all the time and gets stopped and as soon as they find out he is illegal, he is sent on his merry way… with a “warning.”).

    Now, that doesn’t mean Illegals are terrorists, I don’t think we need to run down mainstreet with a hit squad terminating and deporting people.

    Honeslty, Ron Pauls Libertarian view of Immigration is considered Moderate at best by the Neocon Fuckwits, and the Tea Party Co opters (who are just neocons wearing Libertarian Tee shirts with no idea what being libertarian means).

    It is simply by the book… It doesn’t CRACK down, it simply enforces what is already mandated by law, and supports the law by strengthing our own border.

    Frankly, I would prefer it if we bring home our Troops to defend our own borders instead of having them dying in Foriegn nations to defend those other nations borders so Haliburton can make another hundred billion and sell more child sex slaves. Don’t you?

    Ron Pauls 6 part plan.

    “A nation without borders is no nation at all. After decades of misguided policies America has now become a free-for-all. Our leaders betrayed the middle class which is forced to compete with illegal immigrants who will work for almost anything, just because the standards in their home countries are even lower.

    If these policies are not reversed, the future is grim. A poor, dependent and divided population is much easier to rule than a nation of self-confident individuals who can make a living on their own and who share the traditions and values that this country was founded upon.

    Ron Paul’s six point plan puts a stop to illegal immigration:

    1. Physically secure our borders and coastlines. We must do whatever it takes to control entry into our country before we undertake complicated immigration reform proposals.
    2. Enforce visa rules. Immigration officials must track visa holders and deport anyone who overstays their visa or otherwise violates U.S. law. This is especially important when we recall that a number of 9/11 terrorists had expired visas.
    3. No amnesty. Estimates suggest that 10 to 20 million people are in our country illegally. That’s a lot of people to reward for breaking our laws.
    4. No welfare for illegal aliens. Americans have welcomed immigrants who seek opportunity, work hard, and play by the rules. But taxpayers should not pay for illegal immigrants who use hospitals, clinics, schools, roads, and social services.
    5. End birthright citizenship. As long as illegal immigrants know their children born here will be citizens, the incentive to enter the U.S. illegally will remain strong.
    6. Pass true immigration reform. The current system is incoherent and unfair. But current reform proposals would allow up to 60 million more immigrants into our country, according to the Heritage Foundation. This is insanity. Legal immigrants from all countries should face the same rules and waiting periods.

    The facts on the ground are being created right now. Every day that passes makes it more difficult to reverse the damage that has already been done.”

    Anyway Good read as always, even if I don’t agre with the message, I appreciate the humor 🙂

    • You know, nobody ever talks about all the good things Hitler did.

      I really don’t have any problem with Ron Paul’s stance on immigration. I can agree with saying I’d rather have the US Armed Forces home and (relatively) safe from IEDs and insurgent counter-attacks, so I’m not going to argue that point.

      The point of my own, though, was to inject humor into the argument, which I think I did. Is there a massive problem with illegal immigration in this country? Sure. Do I plan on bringing forward any viable options? Absolutely not. Like I said, my chief concern is the huge drug war going on in Mexico, and it’s a drug war not between the Mexican government and the drug cartels – it’s the drug cartels, which have the Mexican government on their payroll, versus each other, with innocent Mexicans and Americans getting beheaded and shot.

      Now I’m not going to sit here and say we should ignore this violence and death just because it’s not on our side of the Rio Grande, but Mexico IS foreign soil and we can’t just go in there and help out without an invitation. The least we could do, though, is to tighten border security to prevent drug mules and drug cartel gun runners from coming across. If this also contributes to a decline in illegal immigration, awesome.

      And I’m also much more for state and federal governments spending time and money on the actual enforcement of existing immigration laws than I am with them trying to regulate things like gay marriage. I think, as far as threats to our civilization goes, the priority list should be 1) the cast of the Jersey Shore, 2) violent criminals, 3) non-violent criminals, 4) Donald Trump’s hair, and 5) people who use the term “for all intensive purposes.” Nobody else bothers me.

      • LOL No worries Dave, I got the humor (hence my own and why I’m not “mad” or spewing vitriol at your opinion). Just trying to be informative, and opinionated 🙂 But I think YOU also knew that about me.

        As for this statement:

        “Like I said, my chief concern is the huge drug war going on in Mexico, and it’s a drug war not between the Mexican government and the drug cartels – it’s the drug cartels, which have the Mexican government on their payroll, versus each other, with innocent Mexicans and Americans getting beheaded and shot.”

        That is a big deal, and I agree, because guess who is funding and running that drug war? Who is making it profitable by making drugs illegal and putting non violent drug offenders in prison for life while letting violent offenders out in half the time? Hint – It’s not the Mexican drug cartels.

      • But Mister Crazybecks, whomever could you mean!?

        Actually the president of Guatemala just threatened to legalize drugs in his country as a way to handle the massive organized crime/drug running problem in his country. The US Federal government just flipped its shit when they heard.

  2. I have to agree with Dan on many counts. I personally have no problem with people wanting to come here for a better life, but for fucks sake, become a citizen then and learn the goddamn language!!! I wouldn’t just go somewhere like Italy and decide to be an illegal immigrant and take public service jobs and shit and not speak the language and work to become a citizen. It’s an irresponsibility that people write off by saying “oh, the had it so bad where they came from and just want a better life…”. That’s fine, but do it the right way, or get your ass deported. The being born of illegals here making you an instant citizen is a crock of shit as well…

  3. I’m more or less with you on the speaking English part. English is one of those languages that can be a total bitch to learn for adults, though – my mother teaches ESL at Suffolk Community College and has told me stories about how hard her adult students try, so there are people out there that are here on work visas or who’ve emigrated permanently that make efforts to at least integrate socially.

  4. Just a minor peeve not really directed at anyone here, but as something that comes up in these debates all the time…

    1. English is not the official language. We don’t have an official language.

    2. Why are we so reluctant to learn another language? We’re one of the few first world countries who isn’t at least bilingual, while some are even trilingual and beyond. We went to Sweden and the ONLY person we encountered there who did not speak English spoke Swedish as his THIRD language. If you went to Italy or wherever, you wouldn’t have to worry about speaking their language, because chances are they already speak yours. We’re at the disadvantage here.

    On Immigration, I have a lot of feelings about the subject, but they’re mixed and I’m not sure how to articulate them without sounding like a fool. Overall, I sort of find the idea of borders or countries or whatever kind of ridiculous in this age of global community.

  5. Jackie, don’t be silly! Of course English is America’s official language! What are you going to say next, that the Pledge of Allegiance didn’t have “under God” added until the Red Scare and that America isn’t a Christian nation?

    Really, get your facts straight. You’re just embarrassing yourself.

    I am with you, though. Why should we be speaking English? We kicked their asses in the Revolutionary War and in the War of 1812. We should speak American, obviously.

    Did I miss anything there? Oh, wait, before I forget: Jesus is my co-pilot, and sometimes I let Him drive. This blog will be without a writer in the event of the Rapture. Now pass me that box of ammunition, I gots me some brown people to shoot.

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