Holy crap. Not only is my publisher’s latest anthology out, but they’re promoting “Blowing Off Some Steam” (or BOSS, if you prefer acronyms), the short story I have in it, as a stand-alone product, with its own cover and everything.
I have my own fucking cover.
Don’t get all excited, that asshole that lives in the back of my head just told me. It’s just an e-book.
Hey, screw you, man, I’m on amazon.com.
Big deal. You’re also on Smashwords. For free. Nobody’s going to spend money on you. Plus, who’s gonna pay $0.99 on ONE short story when they can buy the entire anthology for the same amount? Also, you’re getting grey hairs.
You know what, screw you, Asshole in the Back of my Head. This is why we can’t have nice things.
On a serious note, if you do go to Smashwords and download a free copy (or to Twit Publishing’s Facebook page, where it’s also available for free) and you enjoy it, please support the other authors in the anthology and buy the full Kindle version for a very affordable $0.99. The other Twit authors worked just as hard on their work as I did on mine (well, knowing my work ethic, they probably worked harder), and they are absolutely deserving of the praise! Besides, I still have this pile of color-coded tube socks just lying around, waiting for a request. Funny, I haven’t gotten any yet; I can’t imagine why.
For those of who who have read BOSS and enjoyed it, I’m sure you’ll be happy to learn that the story as it’s presented is far from over; there’s much more in store for the Sarge and the rest of the grease monkeys (that sounds like a Brit Pop cover band, doesn’t it? Sarge and the Grease Monkeys, playing at the Reverb this Saturday!). For those of you who haven’t bothered to read the story yet, or who couldn’t even give a shit about it, I’m sure you can find a used copy of Twilight around here somewhere. That sounds more like your speed.
I’m sure I’m going to catch some shit for that last statement, especially from my brother’s girlfriend. Lucky for me she’s too busy wearing out her Breaking Dawn Part One Special Edition DVD. In fact I bet she’s watching it at this very moment. I keep telling my brother not to date middle school kids, but he doesn’t listen to me.
(Just kidding, Sher – you know I love you. By the way, make sure my brother takes you home before 10 – I know your parents get upset if you’re out too late on a school night.)
I probably shouldn’t pick on my brother, especially since he’s six years younger than me and has got his shit together to the point where he just took out a mortgage to buy his own house and I’m living in a rented cottage with a Jewish fiancée and seven cats in a town in southeastern Pennsylvania that used to be known as a hotbed of activity for the Klan as recently as 2005.
But you know what, you don’t see his name on that goddamn cover, do you? Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some writing to do. Good thing that gang of thoughtful white fellas left a burning cross outside of my front window – now I’ve got plenty of light to read by. They seem to be leaving in a hurry, though. Shalom, guys!