Since I work at home and generally shun daylight (it burns us, precious) I spend a lot of time on the computer. This means that I end up going down the rabbit hole more often than not, which leads me to becoming obsessed with strange things like whether the old Disney TaleSpin cartoon would make for a good RPG setting.
Thankfully my newest obsession has nothing to do with bipedal bears flying a kitbash of a HU-16 Albatross and a C-82 Packet while being chased by air pirates in a South Pacific dieselpunk setting. No, instead I’ve latched on to one of the goofiest-looking but at the same time awesome products currently being produced on the open market: the Kel-Tec KSG.
Have you ever needed to completely blast the shit out of something? I don’t mean head-shotting a few zombies here and there – I’ve already got a favorite weapon for that – I mean taking down large game like velociraptors and tax collectors. No, for that you need a pump-action 12-gauge shotgun that holds a ridiculous number of shells; for that you need the KSG.
Typical pump-action shotguns are pretty simple pieces of machinery – you’ve got a stock, a receiver, a barrel, and a pump-action tube magazine mounted under the barrel. Pull the trigger, gun goes boom, rack the slide to eject the spent shell and push a new one into the receiver. Rinse and repeat, unless you’re a lefty, like me, as the ejector port is on the right side of most guns. This means that you get hot shell casings in your face every time you pump the thing.
Well, the KSG is different. First of all, it’s made by Kel-Tec, a firearms manufacturer that I can only describe as specializing in making what look like space guns – if you’ve seen any of their stuff, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Well the KSG is no different – its a goddamn bullpup shotgun.
Have you ever heard of something so freaking bizarre in all your life? They took a typical 18.5″ 12-gauge shotgun barrel (which is minimum legal length to be sold in the US – anything shorter and you’re in “sawed-off shotgun” territory), and instead of mounting the receiver in its usual space, they threw it together with the stock to cut down on length – and put the ejection port on the bottom. Pull the trigger, rack the slide, and the used shell casing pops out the bottom and falls down at your feet, no muss no fuss.
This in itself is pretty damn cool – but there’s more. Now, pump-action shotguns typically have just the single under-barrel magazine that holds around six or seven shells. Well that wasn’t enough for Kel-Tec – they decided to put not one but two mags in their shotgun with a little selector switch to choose which tube you’re reloading with whenever you pump the action – and each magazine holds seven shells. Plus one in the chamber means that you’ve got 15 god damned shots before having to reload. This is fucking ridiculous. I approve wholeheartedly.
Of course there is a downside to this ambidextrous beauty: it’s got an MSRP of $880. Not only that but it’s been so popular that you can’t find it anywhere – and if you do, the markup is usually ridiculous. Still, it’s worth mentioning that I’ve got a wedding coming up. I wonder if Cabela’s has a gift registry?