LARPing is serious business.

Bill, Steve, I love you but what the fuck.

Not quite as fun if you’re not drunk too.

… serious enough that I got drunk-dialed the other night by two friends and fellow players.

Now to be fair, it was the birthday of one of them.  And they’d been up pretty much all night polishing off two bottles of wine and were balls-deep in a bottle of gin when they called at 3:15 AM the other morning. I must have missed it by mere moments, because I’d finally collapsed in bed at just before 3 after trying to coax my computer’s video card into working, but when my fiancée came downstairs to use the bathroom at 6 AM and saw that she’d missed a call three hours earlier, she panicked and called them back immediately, thinking something terrible had happened.

Fear of own life's ending = punch 'em in the junk.


But no.  Both of my friends wanted to – and this is a direct quote – “blow sunshine up Dave’s ass.”  Because they were three sheets to the wind and had been laughing uproariously about me cock-punching a Legacy staff member  in the junk a couple weeks ago, to the point where they absolutely had to congratulate me on what had been termed an ‘admirable fight-or-flight response.’

I learned about this first-hand after I stumbled downstairs a few minutes later in a quest for the bathroom myself, only to have my bleary-eyed fiancée hand me her cell phone and clamber back downstairs. I returned the call and was told, vividly and in detail, how awesome it was that I screamed like a little girl and then accidentally tried to make someone have angry sex with my fist.  Repeatedly.

It doesn't scream when you punch it, though.

It’s even pink, just like the real thing!

I think it was around 9 AM when I was finally able to get myself off the phone with the two of them.  The conversation wasn’t all about my penile fisticuffs – there was some very heated discussion about some plot points for the next Legacy game in a week and a half – but if you had told me even six months ago that I would one day have a telephone conversation with two gloriously drunk friends about using a scrotum like a boxer’s speed bag at six in the morning, I would have told you to go fuck yourself.  Now, of course, I know better; I’m pretty much ready for anything after that experience.

I can only imagine what next event will bring.


2 thoughts on “LARPing is serious business.

  1. Yes Dave, your ready for anything… Sure.

    More like –

    I got spiked gloves on and I’m “aiming for Evil’s Puckered butthole” next time! Watch out evil!

    (in quotes so you can consider it as a tagline)

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