Throw the horns and… dance the polka?

That's a lot of squiggles.

Pretty fancy logo for a bunch of Finnish frat boys.

Last night I was invited to come along to a local folk metal concert at a local venue in Reading, Pennsylvania, around 20 minutes away.  Yes, that’s right, I said ‘folk metal.’  It’s a thing.

The headlining act last night was Korpiklaani, a Finnish band that’s been around since the mid-to-late 1990s and performs songs about things like drinking too much vodka and partying.  In addition to the typical bass-guitar-drums-singer dynamic, Korpiklaani throws in not just an accordion but an electric violin as well, and while the combination sounds absolutely insane, it actually works very nicely, giving the band an interesting melodic facet to their sound that smooths out the rough edges usually found in more strict “pagan metal” fare – though this didn’t stop anyone from starting up a mosh pit.

Better than square dancing, I guess.

Watch out, some sweaty dude in a kilt might step on your nuts.

As pits went, this one was a little on the mild side.  It wasn’t anywhere near as energetic as the last pit I was in; ironically one of my friends ended up hurting himself this time, when he got knocked down and then some 330-pound dude dressed like Asterix stepped on the blade of his foot.  It’s probably fractured, and I think he went to the emergency room after the show to get it checked out.  Poor bastard – he survives getting punched in the dick by me in August, only to get stepped on by a perfect stranger last night.

The crowd there was pretty typical of  metal show – you had your grungy, long-haired black t-shirt and jeans crowd, your it-came-from-the-80s scruffy dudes in sleeveless band shirts and patched up denim vests, and then you had your full-on GWAR style viking warriors, dressed in leather armor or tartan kilts and swilling beer out of drinking horns.  The only weird thing I saw last night was pretty god damned strange, and more than a little disconcerting – there was one couple there with their infant child.

Hey at least the kid has her Big Bird doll.

When “couldn’t get a babysitter” means “we’re out of duct tape.”

Yes, some two fine upstanding citizens saw fit to drag a child that couldn’t be more than a year old to a metal show.  I will say they made a token effort to provide for the poor kid’s comfort by fitting him with a pair of ear protectors that were half the size of his head, but that’s really not the point, is it?

Why the holy hell would you take a kid that young out to a show like that?  Even with ear protection it was fucking loud in there – it’s just no place for a child that young.  For fuck’s sake, if you can’t get a goddamn babysitter, don’t go.  I swear I don’t understand people sometimes.

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10 thoughts on “Throw the horns and… dance the polka?

  1. We’re going to that show tomorrow when they head up here. My kids aren’t coming anywhere near that stuff even though Sean’s favourite song ever is Korpiklaani’s Pellonpekko

  2. Jesus!!! That’s even worse than those who bring infants to midnight shows of movies, which also drives me fucking crazy. Honestly, I see shit like this as what it is….child abuse. Get a sitter or don’t go. We’ve missed stuff because we couldn’t get a sitter, so grow up and deal with it.

    • The infant children at midnight movies absolutely makes me crazy as well. I’m sorry, but if you can’t find a sitter, you don’t go to the midnight opening of Twilight Sparkle 2: Electric Boogaloo, you stay home and watch Doctor Who on Netflix and hope the kid sleeps through the entire episode.

  3. They played Pellonpekko at the show. For a very brief moment I was sad Sean was not there to see it. Very brief. I took a short video clip for him.

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