The Fanboner.

My fanboner just popped.If you’ve been keeping an eye on the interbutts  (if Hurricane Sandy hasn’t sodomized your power company, that is) you may have seen the startling development that broke into the entertainment news cycle yesterday: The Walt Disney Company just bought Lucasfilm lock, stock, and barrel for $4.05 billion.  If you’re a huge nerd – and chances are that if you’re reading this you’ve probably thrown a few polyhedral dice in your day – the news of this acquisition is absolutely groundbreaking.

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Traumatizing strangers at Outback Steakhouse.

I wasn't using it anyway.

I think my duodenum just broke.

The last few weekends have been rough on me, and not just because of all the running around and traveling: there’s been a lot of eating out at fast food joints and sit-down restaurants, and it’s been playing absolute hell with my insides.  I’ve reached the point where I need to start calling the Center for Disease Control any time I step into a public bathroom so they can cordon off a five-mile quarantine zone.

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Totally screwed.

In honor of Hurricane Sandy bearing down on us like an inexorable battering ram powered by hatred and spite, the fiancée and I – along with some other friends – are preparing the only way we know how: we’re going to the liquor store today.


Batteries? Candles? What is this, “Swiss Family Robinson?”

Stay safe out there, you folks on the East Coast.  If we’re swept away to sea, do a few shots in our honor and then go feed our cats.

Rape: it’s what’s for dinner.

I swiped this from a Daily Kos blog post I read yesterday, simply because it’s just too funny/horrifying not to share.  Plus, considering I’m picking up my marriage license today at Town Hall, it seemed wildly inappropriate, and I’m all about the cognitive dissonance.


I’m not saying that the current administration’s track record on other issues like horrible drone killings overseas and how our Constitutional rights are still being chipped away in the name of “security” is exactly fantastic, but those infographics aren’t nearly as entertaining.  Go vote for Gary Johnson or something next week if it makes you feel better.

The home stretch.

It's probably just New Jersey.

That better not be an oncoming train.

The fiancée and I are once more making the trip down to Long Island today, this time for the final round of pre-wedding business. This will mark the last time we’ll be doing so before the actual week of the wedding, so it’s kind of like a “light at the end of the tunnel” situation, and it really can’t come any sooner at this point.

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Keep your fingers crossed, but don’t hold your breath.

Throw some goddamn stones already.You might remember how, back in July, I pretty much went batshit insane when the Pennsylvania State Assembly decided to discontinue its General Assistance program, despite the fact that it throws 68,000 people under the bus – my fiancée one of them – even though they could have actually afforded it if they weren’t a pack of greedy cunts.  Well, the issue has reared its ugly head once again, thanks to a lawsuit that’s been brought against the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania for trying to cornholing the poor, and today could be the day the judge presiding over the hearing decides whether or not he will grant a preliminary injunction over the issue.

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Because my mind is full of fuck.

My mind is absolute mush after sitting through the last presidential debate Monday night; I can’t write a blog post if my life depended on it.  Instead, watch this.  It’s funny and it’s relevant.

I really can’t wait for this election cycle to be over so I can just go back to stockpiling ammunition and MREs in peace.