That’s why they pay me the big bucks.

Wop yer wad on the counter.


Ladies and gentlemen: I am living proof that WordPress’ new WordAds advertisement revenue system works like a charm.  If by ‘works like a charm’ you mean ‘will take fucking forever to actually make me any money.’

You might remember a couple of months ago when I was toying with the idea of springing for my own personalized domain name for this blog, and not just to stroke my already massively over-inflated ego; no, I had dollar signs dancing in my eyes after learning of Automattic’s new WordAds system, a monetization scheme that provides bloggers with with revenue in exchange for allowing some relatively unobtrusive ads to be displayed on strategic pages.

Well, I was decided to take the plunge with the nice, shiny domain name back in July, and I also applied for the WordAds program.  A couple of weeks later in August, I received an email informing me that I’d been accepted into the prestigious money-making endeavor, and now I’ve finally gotten my results back for that month.

I have, so far, earned exactly $1.30 for the month of August.

It’s not a dump truck but it’ll do.

Now at first this seems absolutely laughable, and for good reason – WordAds doesn’t actually pay out to your bank account until you hit a total of $100 in ad revenue. This means that, if this trend keeps up, I will earn my first paycheck from this blog in 77 months – or a little less than six and one-half years.  Not exactly awe-inspiring figures, but hey – I’m not doing this to make money.  No, I’m doing this because, as mentioned above, I have an over-inflated ego and I enjoy pretending to look like I know what I’m talking about.

From Hell's heart, I stab at thee!

Khan Noonien Singh: master of the pyrrhic victory.

On the other hand, when you think about it – there’s actually  monetary value being applied to this blog.  This collection of binary electrical impulses being whizzed across who knows how many servers, being encoded to and decoded from hard drives, is actually worth something.  Sure it’s only $1.30, but in a realm where worthlessness is de rigueur, it’s a pretty big fucking deal to have any worth at all.  It’s more symbolic than anything else, of course, but that symbol is a giant flaming stone statue of me giving a middle finger to the Universe, saying proudly and defiantly to all within earshot that you can go fuck your shit, this website is actually worth something to someone – even if that something is just a buck thirty and that someone is some faceless corporate marketing entity.

I honestly don’t care – it smells like success to me.  I’m putting it in my Win column.


7 thoughts on “That’s why they pay me the big bucks.

  1. I am web advertisers worst nightmare. I just don’t see them. Not on blogs, not on Facebook, not on new sites. I am completely oblivious to the point where I am confused when people get all butthurt and foot stompy about how many ads are all over their fave sites and FB. I have to switch brain mode and actually go looking for the “obtrusive” ads.

    I’m a creature of habit. I shop at the same places I always did, and if I’m looking to branch out, I’m searching google (while avoiding the top sponsored links because for whatever reason I don’t trust them — weird quirk) or asking friends.

    Grats on your $1.30 though. That’s almost a coffee! 😀

  2. I’m like jackie. I still don’t see any ads. Anyway making money on the interweb is easy. Its making enough money to actually spend it that’s hard. But a word of advice. U have to spend money to make money. Pay google to top list yer blog for a short while for example and people that arnt like me and jackie will stumble on your blog. Meaning more ad traffic.

    If u get paid for click throughs then I would also ad at the end of the blog something like “if you enjoyed this then support my giant robot fetish and visit one of our sponsors by clicking on an ad. Thanks!”

    Good luck!

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