Back in the undead, rotting saddle.

Beats the hell out of "Geronimo," doesn't it?

Felix’s war cry.

All right you primitive screwheads, listen up: the following post is going to be absolutely dripping with spoilers regarding the season premiere of Walking Dead that aired last night, so if you don’t want your jimmies rustled, go read one of the billion news stories about Felix “I don’t give a fuck” Baumgartner breaking the sound barrier in nothing but a Spaceman Spiff costume or something.  This is your first, last, and only warning.

This time, your kids will eat it.

It’s time for a healthy breakfast!

Right, now that we’ve got that out of the way, Sunday’s season premiere paints a much different picture than we were presented with at the end of last season when it comes to Rick Grimes and the rest of his merry band of zombie bait.  Instead of a pack of fearful victims being herded like cats, Rick and company have coalesced into a gritty band of murderhobos; the biggest stand-out difference is Carl, who seems to have finally sprouted some hair on his balls and has stopped being the biggest pain in the ass on the post-apocalyptic planet, judging on how he helps clear a house in the opening minutes of a show with a silenced semiautomatic pistol.  No more sniveling or petulant “I’m going to run away and get myself in trouble” asshattery from Carl, as it looks like shooting Zombie Shane last season finally knocked him out of his pre-teen bullshit.  I for one can’t be more happy about the arrangement, though I was kind of looking forward to watching him eat dog food before his father grabbed the can from him in disgust.

Rick Grimes Uber Alles.

Because he’s tired of your bullshit.

Rick has definitely stepped up as well over the intervening months between the season premiere and last season’s ender as well.  He’s gotten harder and more uncompromising, in an effort to keep the rest of the group alive, and while he’s been successful in driving the people in his care along, the stress of having to do so have definitely begun to show; there’s a palpable wall between him and the rest of the group, and nowhere is that more evident than between him and Lori.  It’s a great bit of character development and I can only hope that this continues throughout the rest of the season, as it’s going to make for excellent drama to see if he can keep his own shit together in the face of what you know is going to be absolutely horrific conditions.

Nothing like your son killing your ex-boyfriend to straighten your ass out.

Thus endeth the lesson.

Speaking of Lori, it seems that she’s finally gotten it through her thick skull that she’s been a big fucking pain in the ass during the first two seasons.  Ridiculously knocked up, she’s ready to burst any day now, and the anguish and contrition Lori exudes during the first episode of this season is cathartic to watch, considering how reviled she was earlier in the series. I can only hope that this is part of a longer story arc where she redeems herself in the eyes of her husband and by extension the fans of the show, who have wasted many a breath in condemning her for her passive-aggressive, skanky, shit-stirring ways.  The conversation she has with Hershel in the abandoned jail cell shows how tortured she’s been, most likely for months now, and while there’s a bit of schadenfreude in watching her squirm like a worm on a fishhook, it looks like she’s been suffering off-camera long and hard and seems to have learned her lesson.

Too soon?

Hershel: world’s first Zombie Santa.

Hershel is, of course, the most unlucky motherfucker on he planet.  I hope that impromptu hatchet amputation he was given actually works, considering he’s the only real medical professional the group has and Lori’s probably going to go into labor by the third or fourth episode.  Of course there’s just as much chance he’s going to die from blood loss or a more mundane infection, now that his leg’s off just below the knee.  The zombie apocalypse doesn’t seem nearly as romantic as it does on paper, does it?

What about you folks, those that have seen it?  What have your first impressions been so far?


9 thoughts on “Back in the undead, rotting saddle.

  1. I have never really understood why everyone HATES Lori so much. Yeah she’s annoying, but when you compare her to Andrea who deserves a flaming spike through the eyeball, she’s practically saintly (Although I suppose the “saint” figure is really Carol — and speaking of Carol, I’m really on the fence about the Carol/Darryl love thang…it’s almost as squicky to me as Beth and Carl…).

    Anyway… I was wondering when Rick jumped on the Lori Hate Wagon (as I mentioned on FB) because it seemed to come out of nowhere, although I suppose there were many months for that to develop. Remember, he’s the one who wanted this baby — Lori was full of doubts — even if she did want it, she was more acutely aware of what a fucked up situation they were bringing that kid into. Then he gets all pissy with her. Weird, but I’m curious to see how that develops. Even though I don’t like how he’s pushing his wife away, I get it, and I kind of like this new, grittier Rick.

    T-Dog! They really need to do more with him.

    Carl irritates me still. I think it’s the hat, but at least he’s not wandering off. Maggie and Glenn, think I love them together. ❤

    Hershel… I was just really beginning to like him, and I think his beard makes him look like Santa which made the whole choppy choppy thing extra unsettling. I hope to crap it works, although, I don't know where there would be a store of peg legs anywhere for him to hobble around on. While Shane's not here to leave him as walker bait, and Andrea's off having pneumonia somewhere and isn't around to be Shane 2.0, how long before he becomes too big of a burden for the group?

    I was really hoping Andrea would choke on some phlegm and die. Yeah I really hate her and I was hoping Michonne would Katana her head off. You know, as a precaution. Actually, I wouldn't be opposed to her leading an armless, jawless. zombie Andrea around on a leash. This hate is probably unhealthy lol

    • Every time I saw Michonne with those pet zombies I just started giggling. I don’t know why I find it so goddamned funny, but I just do.

      • I dunno, as far as Rick being on the Lori hate wagon, I imagine that killing his childhood best friend over her helped somewhat.

      • He killed Shane because he became a psychotic loon who tried to kill him to get him out of the way. Shane’s obsession with Lori was of his own making, and while it takes two to tango, remember Shane was the one who convinced Lori that Rick was dead and took advantage of the situation. Surely Rick can see that his friend lost his mind. If anything, you’d think he’d start resenting her after she confessed to the affair with Shane, but even he came up with the explanation before she could. I’m curious to see where it’ll go.

  2. Oh and screw you AMC for not being prepared to have that many people enter the sweepstakes and having the site farked and completely unenterable and by the time I could get on it have the thing closed because you suck.

  3. I get that there’s lots of zombies. I get that they have to kill them in hand-to-hand combat. Do I have to see every death? Isn’t there something more interesting that I could be watching? Like Michonne and Andrea roaming the badlands? Maybe do a setup on their side for the next episode instead?

    What about cutting back to the yard AFTER they’ve killed a whole crap ton of them, and there’s just piles of undead? Or the group piling them up into a bonfire?

    Now, the interior corridor where Hershel loses his leg, that was interesting and made my fiancee jump. That was cool. But watching a group of experienced zombie killers methodically killing a mass of zombies with hatchets and machetes is about as interesting as watch a video of Brazilians doing slash-and-burn farming.

    • It’s generally not all zombie killing, and the creators have said as much. I have a feeling the first episode was done up like that to show that they’re now a cohesive group, instead of just loosely associated. Now they work and fight and kill like a well oiled machine. And really, the less we see of Andrea the better.

      • I will admit to feeling a bit cheated that there was only a few minutes of screen time devoted to Michonne and Andrea. Seeing the core group and how they’ve evolved into a well-oiled zombie killing machine was great, but it was a bit of overkill – here’s hoping further episodes will strike a better balance.

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