Nerd/Geek power rankings!

Yesterday my friends and I engaged in a 200+ comment Facebook post concerning the nature of what it means to be a nerd, geek, dork, gamer, et cetera, and it got me thinking about what the hierarchy is when it comes to who’s got the highest power rankings.

The Pussy Destroyer

High on the Power Ranking.

The post started off innocuously enough but then it devolved into the best good-natured shit flinging you can expect from people that have known each other for years.  My opinion was that being a gamer, or a nerd, or geek, or dork, or whatever you want to call it, is more or less a spectrum.  You know, kind of like Autism.  Of course a statement like that may be offensive to anyone with friends and family on the Autism spectrum, but if you’ve seen the kinds of “discussions” over esoteric, completely worthless minutiae that occur on most of the Internet’s gaming related message boards, you would swear a full 90% of people posting had full-blown Asperger’s Syndrome.  It’s like watching Dustin Hoffman from Rain Man argue with himself.

I came up with a “Power Ranking” list during the discussion, which categorized geek “culture” by how socially acceptable the person was according to his chosen hobbies, with the more mainstream or non-obtrusive ones at the top and the most noticeable or abhorrent ones at the bottom. Here it is in updated, streamlined form:

  • People who like watching SF/Fantasy movies and reading novels, short stories, and comic books
  • Authors, artists, and other professionals that produce content for each medium
  • Halo, Madden, or Call of Duty bros, Angry Birds/Chicktionary/Words with Friends game players (“Filthy Casuals”)
  • People with extensive game libraries – shelves filled with DVD or Blu-Ray jewel cases of console games or Steam libraries filled with stuff.
  • The “disposable income” asshole: huge collections of Warhammer 40k miniatures, Magic: the Gathering cards, model train sets, multiple sets of polyhedral dice.
  • Boffer LARP players (an incredibly expensive hobby, as I’ve chronicled before)
  • Non-combat LARP players (really, who would bother if you don’t get to at least hit someone with a hunk of duct-tape wrapped PVC and foam?)
  • Furries – which used to be the bottom of the list, but with the advent of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, there’s a new shit sandwich in town:
  • Bronies.  Do not approach a Brony under any circumstance.  Simply take off and nuke the place from orbit.  It’s the only way to be sure.

This is my list.  Think you can come up with one better or think I’ve mis-categorized someone?  Leave a comment!


2 thoughts on “Nerd/Geek power rankings!

    • And Risk. Jesus Christ every Risk game I have ever played lasts for HOURS. And it usually comes down to me holding out in Australia while the other guy has 8 billion troops knocking on my front door.

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