How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?

They ever mistake you for a man?

Pendejo jerkoff.

If you haven’t heard, the US Pentagon recently decided to remove the ban on women in combat.  This has been either a long time coming or a terrible mistake depending on which 24 hour news network you listen to, but there’s no denying that the role of women in the US armed forces it’s been a hot-button issue for quite some time.  While I’m not here to sway you one direction or another on this issue, I am here to demonstrate what this new decision means in terms we can all understand: we are now one step closer to a world where the events depicted in James Cameron’s Aliens can now occur.

Let's rock.

Do not fuck with the Colonial Marines.

On the one hand, this is an important step toward the establishment of the United States Colonial Marine Corps – more widely known simply as the Colonial Marines.  As evidenced by the existence of Private Vasquez in Aliens, the tough Latina heavy weapons expert that took no shit from anyone regardless of whether they were human, android, or xenomorph.  As the inclusion of the good Private in the Colonial Marines is proof positive that the Colonial Marines permit female officers and enlisted soldiers to serve in combat, it can be extrapolated that in the world of the Alien franchise the decision was made one day in the past to make this a reality, and the decision by our Pentagon paves the way not just for awesome hardcore bitches like Vasquez but all the requisite technology – interstellar travel, cryogenic sleep, synthetic life forms, and mother fucking pulse rifles (this is, of course, the most important part).

Of course, there is a drawback to all this, as it also means we’re one step closer to a world where xenomorphs will be encountered by humanity in all their chest-bursting, acidic-blooded, face-hugging glory.  Personally I’m willing to risk it if I can get my hands on a pulse rifle.

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3 thoughts on “How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?

  1. You will need to register the pulse rifle, and can only load seven rounds at a time.

    I for one have a wait and see opinion on this complex issue. But my feeling is if women can be , they can be soldiers. I know its different, I know women have some physical limits that are different than men. But women have proven themselves invaluable to the armed forces. Our highschool friend christy being a gunny sgt in the marines being a great example.

    There will be issues of course, every new growth spurt has its pains, and while some concerns may sound sexist, they are no less valid.

    So i guess i have an optimistic wait and see mentality on this. Go Jane!

  2. Pingback: Topic Buffet: Airborne Mongols, Kotex Terrorism, and 50 Shades of Dorks « Kvasir Amongst the Gods

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