You may not be aware of this, but I absolutely love heavy metal, and I don’t mean the kind you find on the Periodic Table of Elements. Not that I have anything against chemistry; let’s be honest, feldspar might be pretty bad ass but it never sold out Madison Square Garden.
My love affair with metal began, in all the most unlikely places, with the NES game Contra. That game is so fucking metal it makes me want to punch Bruce Dickinson in the mouth while dressed like Eddie the Head. Here, if you don’t believe me check this out:
See? Metal as fuck. And that’s just the goddamned main theme!
I don’t know what it is about the old 8-bit NES era but a lot of those game soundtracks just seem to lend themselves to a metal interpretation really well. I suppose the combination of the metal high water mark of the 1980s combined with a bunch of overworked, underpaid Japanese game developers meant that the amount of metal included in the soundtracks of that generation of console games was super-saturated. In fact, you might say that it on a scale of 1 to 10, it went to 11.
I don’t want to come off as a purist or an elitist but for me the golden age of metal was over once Metallica cut their hair and Lars Ulrich went on his insane crusade against Napster; things just haven’t been the same since. Still, there’s plenty of decent metal out there today – there’s also a lot of bullshit like nu-metal that turns my stomach and makes me want to beat someone with a golf club. Not that there weren’t some absolutely fucking awful classic metal acts out there – Stryper, I’m looking at you, godammit – but even the most hair-sprayed, Twisted Sister-style tranny band was metal as fuck compared to some of the shit you hear nowadays.
I almost typed “some of the shit you see on MTV nowadays.” I am now depressed and will go listen to some fucking Nightwish or something and cry myself to sleep.