I’d like you all to meet Grady, one of our six cats. Grady is about 15 pounds of fluffy grey fur and he’s roughly the size of a Corgi. He’s also lazy as fuck unless you’re opening a packet of wet food, where he’ll perch on a low shelf, make “meep meep meep” sounds like Beaker from The Muppet Show, and slap you with his paw until you put his food bowl down on the floor.
This is Grady in his most natural state: fast asleep on a cardboard box that we can’t throw away because he’s constantly laying on it. As you can plainly see, this fatass is much too big for the box, but that doesn’t stop him from spilling off the sides on a regular basis:
Grady’s feet and tail are perpetually hanging off either one side of the box or the other. And no, it’s not that the box is exceptionally small – Grady is apparently part rhinoceros. Here’s a size comparison shot I took, using a ball-point pen for reference:
At this point my shenanigans awoke the sleeping beast, so I figured I’d might as well get the closest you’re going to get to an “action shot” with a cat that looks like he swallowed a bowling ball. Here I am paying homage to the furry little Muppet:
“Yes, human, worship me.”
“I reward you with a fantastic view of my armpit.”
“Fear my giant furry out-of-focus paw.” Honestly I don’t know how he stays on this box half the time. Considering it’s empty and him laying on it makes it incredibly top-heavy, he will regularly capsize off it, which invariably creates a sort of kitty avalanche by startling not only himself but any other cats that are downstairs: they then stampede up the stairs at about Mach 5, creating the kind of sound only a herd of marauding elephants could possibly replicate.
We’re not really sure how or why Grady has grown to such gargantuan size, considering how the barn cat that gave birth to him was a tortoiseshell American Shorthair that’s about one-third of his current size. We have no idea who the father is, but I think one of our neighbors might have a Tibetan Mastiff that got loose a few years ago:
Looks like a strong family resemblance to me.