Choking on exhaust fumes.

Carbon monoxide: it's what for dinner.

Insert coughing fit here.

Once more the wife and I are off this weekend on a trip down to that fantastically overpriced and overcrowded little slice of suburban New York known as Long Island, and while I will absolutely treasure the time I get to spend with family for the Passover/Easter holidays, I really can’t wait until this shit is over and done with.

Please no.

Dear god no.

The main reason for my distaste – and I’ve gone over this before – is that there’s not really any good route from southeastern Pennsylvania to Long Island, as you’ve got to find some way through or around New York City. There’s only three ways, really – you can go through Staten Island, you can go through the Bronx, or you can just cut right through Manhattan.  Each path is fraught with its own perils, and they’re all equally as bad when it comes to tolls and traffic, so you’ve pretty much got three doors that lead to the same bottomless pit of despair.

This will however be a thing of the past in just a few short months, as the wife and I will be moving – new baby in tow at that point – to greener pastures in upstate New York, an area we both have an intimate familiarity with.  On top of the sheer comfort of moving back to a geographical region that we feel much more comfortable with in calling “home,” the path down to visit family will be much, much easier.

Every god damn time.

It never ends.

From where we’ll be in upstate New York, which is just about half an hour from Lake George, the easiest and most direct route to both sets of soon-to-be grandparents will be straight down Interstate 87, pausing only to take the Hutchinson River Parkway.  From there we’ve got the option of either taking the Whitestone or the Throgs Neck to get to Queens, and while we’ll be traveling a farther distance the amount of time we’ll be in the car will remain most likely the same.  In fact we might even be spending less time in the car, considering we always seem to spend at least an hour and a half in traffic waiting our turn to get into the Lincoln Tunnel – and it seems to be completely independent of what time of day we approach that god damned tunnel, as there’s always traffic.  You’d think they were giving away free candy or something.

The best part about this plan, hands down, is that never will I ever have to go through Staten Island again in my lifetime.


4 thoughts on “Choking on exhaust fumes.

    • It’s actually a bit farther north than New Paltz, but the look and feel of the place is very similar, and you pass right through New Paltz on your way up.

      It’s funny that you think of me up in NP – I always like to imagine myself back there, too!

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