I’m sticking to everything. And not in the good way, either.

We’re in the middle of a heat wave here, and I am only as miserable as a fat man can be deep in the dog days of July.

I’m pushing our air conditioner as hard as I possibly can, but if last month’s electricity bill was any indication my wallet is going to be tied up and sodomized with a prickly pear if this heat doesn’t break sometime soon.

In situations like this, I can only turn to one thing: the wisdom of Matthew Broderick.

 

I swear, moving to the mountains cannot happen soon enough.

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