The old itch.

Late at night, after I’m done with work for the day and the baby is down for the count, I simply don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

My days are filled with the vicissitudes of raising a daughter and working full-time from home. It’s an incredible journey to be on, and even the little things like mowing the lawn or doing the dishes are surprisingly satisfying when you’re doing them in an environment where you know you’re safe, welcome, and whole, but for some reason once that sun sets, my daughter’s head hits the pillow, and I close down my paying work for the day I end up kind of just staring out the window at the stars – or in last night’s case, listening to the rain beat against our tin roof.

My wife feels it, too. Her computer is set up catercorner to mine, and I just have to turn my head to the left to see her there, squinting at her own laptop and trying to figure out what to do with her evening. Our DVR is filled with enough television to keep us occupied for a week straight, but neither of us want to just sit there and stare vacantly at an episode of World’s Greatest Police Brutality Videos for an hour or two before bed. No, we both want something more – something fun.

We’ve tried getting into the online gaming thing again, though it’s been severely limited by the fact that my wife’s laptop is basically a toaster. I thought I had solved the problem by finding City of Steam: Arkadia, a free-to-play steampunk-themed MMORPG that runs off the Unity browser engine, but while it does indeed run on my wife’s computer the game is grindy pay-to-win garbage. It’s a shame, too – it’s the most beautiful browser game I’ve seen yet, and the writing is excellent, but the gameplay is painfully boring. The developers know it, too – they put in an auto-combat option so you can just grind dungeons and go AFK. It’s absurd!

It doesn’t help that Wildstar just came out the other day, as I’ve been following its development for months. It looks promising but it’s a subscription based MMO – and I really don’t want to end up paying $15 a month for the privilege of getting yelled at by 40 people I don’t know every Friday night. Apparently there’s a mechanic built into the game where you can purchase a month’s worth of game time with in-game currency, but if it’s just going to be something I occasionally play in the evenings a few times a week I don’t know if I’ll ever earn enough to do it that way. Plus there’s the added fact that I’d be leaving my wife behind as she stares at her Facebook page hoping someone posts something she hasn’t read 15 times already.

Thankfully a friend of mine dropped me a seven-day guest pass for Wildstar so I can try it out. It will be a few days before I get a chance to give it a whirl, but I’m grateful that he was kind enough to hand it over – and also invite me to his guild once I get online. Of course, I’m going to have to download the game client first.

I’m on DSL. This is going to take a while.



7 thoughts on “The old itch.

  1. I often feel the same way, especially when I’m home alone at night with the wee ones. Even when I have a day to myself, nothing on my infinite list of to-do items jumps out, and I just end up sitting in the sky chair on the porch or watching a movie or some shit. I have about 9724789239847389 games I own and haven’t played, plus an arcade in my basement, yet I still would more likely end up playing FF7 again instead…..Of course, I COULD do work around the house, but…uhhh..I’d need another person…ya….and beer! I’m going with that.

    • Yeah, I’ve got a fat stack of Xbox games, plus who knows how many in my Steam library… yet I’d rather just stare at the walls sometimes. Though a couple beers sounds nice!

  2. All of that. And everything PNG said. I’ve got more games than I could play in a lifetime, but I find myself getting distracted by… nothing.

  3. In my experience, these are the times that try our souls the most. As a scanner type personality, I constantly need a new hobby to master. Once I reach a certain proficiency, I start getting bored and have to switch to something else. Most times this is easy for me, but sometimes I just sit there with a head ffull of frustration because I WANT to do something, or feel like I MUST do something, but just can’t.

    I fine the only thing that works for me then (if anything does) is either hard work, excercize, sex, or just getting out for a ride or walk. Its a kind of stress to be listless, and sometimes too much leisure can stress you out as much was too much work. I know that sounds stupid when it hits at the end if a long day of work, but I find it true.

    Anyway, give me a month or so and the wife and I will be hopefully seeing you guys. We can be bored together!

  4. Pingback: Meh. | Amateur Professional

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